So today was Exhibition Night... thank God my kids did a great job!!! I am so proud of everything they have done and worked towards... But most of all I am glad this crap is over... Now I only have two weeks left... and I just want it to be over!!!! I am so sick of Mastery and all of their lies... it is so interesting to see what crap they come up with each and every day. I can't tell you how I feel about that organization. I can honestly say I appreciate everything I learned while being their and how they gave me my helped lead me into the path I was destined to walk...
I know it has been months, since I have even bothered to blog... but I have missed doing it... It is my release and my opportunity to express myself freely without reservations... Right now I have so many things to get off of my chest, yet I am afraid to discuss them with anyone... I guess it's time to get it out... So I while ago I met someone... We met through mutual friends... At some point I realized some sort of connection between us... I didn't really want to believe it, but I really couldn't ignore it either... One weekend we were hanging out and we "innocently" crossed the line... It started with a kiss that was so gentle and endearing to my forehead... I in return gave her neck a kiss kiss... She told me she had a teenage crush, but was not trying to do anything--because we both had our own things going on... I should have known, that that comment alone would change things between us. Days later we hooked up--met at the mall for dinner and stimulating conversation... I know that it was the wrong thing to do, but I went anyway... I love the way she looked at me... with this intensity and sincerity that made me want to play with her-- tease her--and experience her... That night we hugged, kissed, and took things to a place we weren't prepared for... We have spent incredible nights together experiencing shit I did not think was possible... She had me ready to "make love in the club, while rocking stilettos--which ultimately led me to grippin' on the bed"... She said that she fell in love... Honestly, I did too...
Our love is easy, with no strings attached--but the love we have is complicated because of other people and other situations... Every day we talk, laugh, fuss, cuss, and love... But what is it all for?! There is no such thing as moving forward together... but we will separately... She wants me and what she has held onto for so many years, because it's safe and familiar... even though it's unhealthy... I guess I really need to ask myself, if it's possible if for what started off as platonic love to develop into anything more... With so much at stake, is it worth it to take a chance on romance? A part of me wants a love story that proves that romance is even sweeter--and scarier--when the stakes are sky high... Ugh... what's a girl to do?!
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