So here I am... trying to think about what to say in my first blog... I guess it really doesn't matter because it's all about me... It's funny... there are so many things that I think and feel... but I just never am able to really get them out... I have friends... really great friends-- but I can't tell them everything. I am not sure if I can't, won't, or don't trust any1ne person with everything... You know it has not been an easy 26 years of life... There are days when I think about all of the things that life has thrown my way--and I wonder what it all means... I am not even going to get into all of that right now... A friend has been telling me for years, that I needed to start blogging... but of course I brushed it off... It wasn't until I was "feeling nice" last weekend, that I realized he had a good point. Some times I just need to get whatever is on my mind out--without comments or interruptions... I mean, who am I kidding... I'm an almost therapist, in need of a damn therapist!
For the pas year and a half I have been on an emotional roller-coaster, because of my love for Itasha... I have never, and will never love any1ne the way I love her... She was my friend, my lover, and my rock... There were so many things that I did wrong while we were together, and while we were apart... Saying I'm sorry just doesn't cut it... For so long I have tried to let go of loving her, and pretend that it doesn't hurt anymore... But the truth is it does... What scares me the most, is that it won't go away... She will forever be the apart of me--mind, body, and soul... Whenever things go wrong or right--I still want her to be there... I will never be able to get that type of "history" or depth with any1ne else...
Anyway, that's enough about love that has gone away... This has truly been a week filled with a little bit of this and a little bit of that... So, my bitch of a boss took an extended family leave for about a month... and God knows--non of us want her ass to come back... I feel horribly for her husband, because he has a terminal illness... But her ass is the devil! She's racist, condescending, rude, and down right stupid. This of course means, that a few of us have to do extra work... All I do is extra damn work... If the school administrators and board don't wake up and pay attention, they are going to end up in a world of trouble--lawsuits, protests, and exposed... Hmm... that's the least of my worries... I am just trying to get out of there while I can--with my dignity and integrity. I really am good at what do... and I love the work that I do... but working for this organization is the worst!
